1985 Chevrolet Suburban

Big and Beautiful

350

700

1G8GK26M9FF123858

Clear

The 1985 Chevy Suburban Your Mother Warned You About!Bird poop included, you tow, Big Fella! ++ see update below - bird poop - BAM! GONE! ++UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE BREAKING NEWS UPDATE HEAR ALL ABOUT IT++ ABORT! ABORT! This Beast is obviously on her ever-flowing woman-time. I just cleaned out her insides (I'm not a doctor but I play one with certain friends) and OMG she smells like (with all the utmost respect for seedy whorehouses) a Seedy Whorehouse. Seriously. I do not need the competition and this Bee-otch needs to get out of town. Several people have asked specific questions and I am here for your answering pleasure. PSST! LOWERED PRICE Allegedly rust-free (Having said that, I do see what APPEARS to be surface rust in about 4 or 5 spots - see pics)When I press on these "rusted" spots, they are not soft. I'm no mechanic, but I play one with certain friends as well, and this is some hard, firm rust! This Vagabond/Has Been/Might Be needs a Karen Silkwood shower! Mostly on the interior. PSST! LOWERED PRICE 2 front "manly" seats - driver's seat made more manly by duct tape. Other front seat intact.1 rear seat across. Only driver's side is duct taped, meant for manly men who need to scratch a testes or three PSST! LOWERED PRICE!Uploaded many more pics. Think of it like your middle-aged wife: "Honey, can I go to Monterrey? They have a fab medical school and do a complete plastic surgery overhaul for only TEN GRAND!" You know you want her spare parts north of the equator. THIS GAL IS FAR LESS THAN A BOOB JOB AND SHE WILL NEVER NAG YOU! PROCRASTINATORS APPRECIATED FOR THEIR HARD WORK AND MUCH-NEEDED TV TIME! ++ THIS PRICE IS LOWERED. EXPECT THE WORST AND YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BE DISAPPOINTED. SEE VOLUMINOUS NEW PICS! Mwah! She even comes with a wasp nest. No, not WASP. Wasps. On the plus side, we've had lots of rain, so bird poo? BAM! Gone! Located in Wimberley Texas, a mighty fine town if I might say so, situated between Austin and San Antonio! +++ ORIGINAL DEETS! This is one ugly a++ manly man truck - at least to a woman. It just sits around all day not doing a damn thing. I am certain it sneaks into the house at night because I can never find the remote in the morning, the fridge is empty of beer, and Netflix is paused to the never-released "Starsky & Hutch Meets Charlie's Angels." {The uncut version. Seriously?} Anyhoo. The Beast or Beauty HAS to go, very sadly. I love her and everything she stands for. I love her history and the journeys she has taken around the dusty state of Texas, carrying the two-man crew to capture in photos the losing battles of beer joints, honky-tonks, BBQ, music and other Texas culture forever. Not to mention, I fell in love in this very Chevy. This old gal has some miles and memories (so does the Suburban). Details, Details 1985 Chevrolet SuburbanAS IS, Are you man enough to risk it? Think of her as a mail-order bride: priced to take a chance!3/4 ton4 x 4Not runningFlat Tires (that happens to us gals)350 Engine700 TransmissionTwo-tone paint: pear and maroonMileage unknown due to no speedometer wire (lucky gal!)Needs alternatorNeeds bolt on transfer caseAir the break systemGround cables The exterior is just a mirror of her interior - or vice versa. Interior is rough and has missing center console and crack in windshield but passes inspection. It is smelly in there! Not up to date on nuthin! The truck is rust free but needs new battery to crank. Transfer case is NP208CRight side passenger door needs lock replaced to openNo AC, vent system disconnectedNeeds to get hitched to a solid knob (don't we all)? She is the Suburban of all Suburbans to those who really dote and adore these gals. Perfection in year, history, stories and more. As a one-person income household, it is simply not feasible for me to keep hoping for that extra grand or two to fix her back up to her old glory. I'm saving up for a divorce if I ever catch me a husband, as the saying goes. THIS OLD GAL IS PERFECT FOR RESTORATION. I THINK THE BODY IS WORTH IT. The Suburban's okay, too. More pictures available of the inside if you can stomach it! Just ask! Located in Wimberley, Texas