2002 Acura RSX

Type S Hatchback

2.0L I-4 DOHC

Manual

JH4DC53022C025421

Clear

Gasoline

Today, tomorrow, or sometime before another cat snags this for themselves, this is your chance to own a 2002 RSX Type S. Affectionately dubbed the “Millennium Falcon” by my sketchy friends, this vehicle is perfect companion for daily travels, night time adventures, and honing your oneness with the Force – or saying, “%&*$ it,” and embracing the Dark Side because they're cooler anyway. History of the Millennium Falcon It was during the remarkably warm fall of 2008 the need for new transportation became urgent for the second time that year. During the summer, my late Nissan Altima met a grisly fate when running away from a party of wealthy Cambodian heroin dealers when it blasted two rods out the side of the engine block onto the highway. I didn’t realize the nice girl I met that evening was the head of the household’s daughter. Next, a bout with Grand Am was a short-lived when a water pump went out. Having made a wise financial decision earlier in the year by purchasing a house, other less fiscally-sound decisions that and prior years meant disposable income was spent at or around sticky nightclubs and scummy bars. Looking back, I should have should have just bought stock in Church & Dwight, Inc. and spent my evenings in the comfort of my own home and trolled less skilled strangers while playing Call of Duty. #YOLO I didn’t have the loot for a decent vehicle, let alone some five figures laying around to get a solid vehicle. As fate would have it, a dealer had a great sale and financing options available. I went to go look at sensible 4-door of some kind, but saw the RSX while I was there, then basically signed the paperwork after a brief test drive. Fun fact: I paid it off about six months later out of spite. The lender, TCU (Teachers Credit Union), was where my late grandmother and my uncle banked for decades yet, they wouldn’t finance my mentally disabled uncle for $1500 to repair his vehicle, which not only comfortably fit his budget, I also cosigned at a time when my credit was immaculate. I asked him to wait while I ran to the bank and withdrew enough to loan him what he needed as well as payoff my car. Things you should know If you haven’t looked through the pictures yet, go ahead and do so. Yes, the car looks like it was pulled out of a bar fight and is about to say, “You should see the other guy,” just before it lights a Marlboro Red. Aesthetics or lack thereof You could drive this thing around in its battered state, especially if you live in the Midwest where cars are eaten alive by the road salt that (sometimes) keeps us from sliding into an icy death. No one in Michigan or Ohio bats an eye at bumper attached with a couple self-tapping screws and rust. It’s fine. Here’s a few other pieces of ugly you’ll notice from the pics: · The damage on the back-right panel is from I mailbox I accidentally destroyed while trying to back the car a short distance into a garage to shield it from a hailstorm. Sweet irony. · There’s a cracked chunk in the back bumper. Someone moved a park bench behind some cars one night and I backed into it because there’s shit visibility out the back window. · A long scratch is along the top of the back-driver side panel. I like to imagine a large monster spewed forth from Hell and scratched the car. · The front bumper is bolted down with a couple self-tapping screws. A couple summers back, it got caught on parking curb at a congested gas station, and when I backed away, the bumper popped off. · A piece of windshield trim is missing on the passenger side. This unfortunate even occurred while scraping ice off two winters ago. · Some of the clear coat is missing, especially on the passenger side. Basically, the car-level warning sign of skin cancer. · There are large rips in both front seats. This is likely from the large quantities of Mexican food and beer consumed over the years by me and passengers. · Every brand of cigarette has been smoked in the car. Basically, there’s no shortage of ugly spots. Mechanical details I’m not going to bore you with every oil change or brake change. Most of the time, everything was done well within the recommended time to change these items. There have been a couple major repairs however, I’m not 100% on the dates. Spring of 2011 | fuel pump – One evening, I just wanted to go home after work. The car, however, would not start. I ordered a fuel pump off eBay and changed it a couple days later in the rain. It flooded the engine too, which really sucked because I worked 22 miles from where I lived at the time. Fall of 2014 | another ****ing fuel pump – Yep. Another one. Winter of 2014 | timing chain – During the year of the “Snowpocalypse” where temperatures fell below be zero ****ing degrees for depressingly long spells, the Millennium Falcon decided to go into hibernation. I thought it was from flooding and drilled a hole in the exhaust. However, it was the timing chain which was later replaced. Spring of 2017 | clutch – I was heading the home of the Garys (Garies?) – a housing unit where two men named Gary live next door to each other in a duplex. Suddenly, 1st gear was my only option to move the vehicle. Fortunately, this happened a mere 2 blocks away. Pro tip – I used this time to put the roadside assistance on my vehicle from Progressive at a buck fifty a month, so I could it tow it to more suitable location for the repair. There are a couple unresolved issues with the vehicle that I believe are from a vacuum leak. When it’s nice and sticky outside or cold as balls, the car will constantly rev when idling. I’m guess the idle control valve is either bad or needs cleaned. You’ll also notice this when turning as the car will just die. On the plus side, you’ll get good at restarting it while drifting towards other cars at an intersection. The video here isn't me, but it’s the exact same issue: Acura idling by itself I’m pretty sure a couple O2 sensors are bad. This is likely affecting the issues mention above but mostly it just seems to make the car run rich. Please note this will not make you rich – this car will cost you money to make mechanically sound and de-ugly. Finally, I cracked the oil pan during the last oil change with my brute strength while in a blind rage. I seared the crack shut by exhaling an energy bolt from my mouth like an evil dragon. Actually, I just torqued it a bit too tight and used something like KwikWeld to hold it together. So, this will be a thing you’ll need to deal with on the next oil change. FAQs Here are some answers I hope you’ll find useful before bidding or messaging me, depending on where you see this ad: Has it ever been impounded? No. But it has watched me been arrested on a few different occasions. Does it have bail money? Unfortunately, this vehicle earns zero income. Make sure to memorize your mom and fiscally responsible friend’s numbers. What does it smell like? It’s a proprietary scent (patent pending) I call “A Good Time.” It’s a delicate blend of a faux-luxury leather/vinyl blend, Indiana, American Spirits, and faint hint of no-%#$@s-given to tie it all together. Can you sleep in it? With a good attitude, you can do just about anything. I’m about 6-feet-tall and I slept in the back seat for a couple weeks once with only moderate neck pain and shame every morning. If you lay the back down, a full-size futon fits atop the seats and hatch – just don’t sit up too quickly. Can you make sweet love in the car? One night, I happened across a girl who looked like a super-sized Amy Schumer at a show. Afterwards, I ran into her again at dive bar name McCormick’s; a site well-known site as a centrifuge of debauchery. In our slurry states, we eventually made our way behind the bar then into the back of the car on a cold winter day. I had to alert her girlfriend inside the bar to the shenanigans since she the gal asleep and I couldn’t pull her out on my own. If this car were an animal, what would it be? Right now, “falcon” doesn’t seem to be the best fit. I’d say aging but fierce Canada Goose. Is that 90s CD player, bro? That’s right. I have the OEM and Kenwood deck that used to be in it’s place. The faceplate was stolen off the latter, but I haven’t bothered replacing it. I’ll include both with the car, unless you’re insistent on keeping the CD player in place. How many people can actually fit in the car? Once, I was at a butt rock festival in Columbus, OH and somehow, I became responsible for getting my stupid Indiana friends back home to South Bend while I was living in Indianapolis. A total of six of us piled into the car – the four in the backseat whined the whole way. *** I there’s anything else you’d like to know or you just want me to repeat myself because you didn’t read my dumb story, shoot me a message. Also, this is cross-listed so there is slight possibility I might end this auction early.